FANDOM


Just 100%ed Bastion. I think I'm going to write a whole shpeal about it's story like how I did with Hellsing Ultimate, but for now, let's just take care of feats, alright?

The Calamity Cannon

There are tons of weapons in Bastion (Just look at The Kid's Standard Equipment section, if all goes to plan that thing is going to be an absolute monster by the time I go to bed), but one is notable because it does something special. It vaporizes. Everything the calamity touches, cannonfire included, is described as turning to ash and going with the wind, reflected in gameplay as, unlike with other weapons that pulverize stuff, this sucker lets it go up in smoke.

Right when you get handed the weapon, the devs flex it's power by making you vaporize all this:

Calamity Cannon yeet

Ice with chains in it, massive piles of rocks, everything on on the right side of The Kid there outright gets nuked. I'll only take care of the rock pile, since I'll be a bit rough with this calc anyways and getting a volume for the chains seems more trouble than it's worth.

The Kid stands at 87 pixels, while the rock pile is 559 pixels wide and 203 pixels long, a discrepancy of 6.42528735632 and 2.33333333333.

Now, what about the height? The perspective makes it a bit funky to get, so let's like, assume it goes up to The Kid's waist, or half his height.

Speaking of his height, as the name suggests, The Kid isn't exactly a full grown man. He's more teenaged, so I'll use the height of a 16 year old, about 170.18 centimeters, making the rock pile 1093.4554023 by 397.086666666 by 85.09 centimeters.

This appears to roughly be an Ellipsoid as opposed to something like a rectangle, so, (4/3) times pi times 1093.4554023 times 397.086666666 times 85.09 is a total of 154758143.835 centimeters

Now, finally, times 25700 for vaporization is...

3.9772843e+12 Joules, 950.593761125 Tons of TNT, Multi City Block level+

Now, you might be thinking to yourself, "Wouldn't this only scale to the calamity cannon?" Not at all. The hammer and mortar can easily do as much damage as it, and that's only the stuff I've tinkered with. Everything else is still comparable, including The Kid's own durability considering he can take this blowing up directly in his face. It's still pretty hefty though, so don't get any ideas about Low 7-C.

Bullheaded bullet deflection

Even when the Ura are right in The Kid's face, he can flash his shield and deflect their attacks. Oh, and if that's farfetched, here's a low quality video reference, since I don't want to spend a lot of time finding a good one

The ura clearly don't use shotguns, but they're the most comparable thing designwise, so I'll use their barrel length of .6604 meters.

As per how it fires, I thought a bit about what would be a good assumption. It's like a rifle, but the Ura also fan the hammer like a revolver, but I think I'll just take KLOL's suggestion of using a Winchester Model 1894, with a muzzle speed of 759 meters per second.

.6604 divided by 759 leaves The Kid with a timeframe of...

0.00087009222 seconds, Supersonic+

Not bad. Moving one meter in this timeframe would be 1149.30346119 meters per second, Mach 3.35073895391, for reference.

Results

Calamity

3.9772843e+12 Joules, 950.593761125 Tons of TNT, Multi City Block level+

Deflection

0.00087009222 seconds, Supersonic+

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.