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But then I realized that this might happen again in the future, and now I'm beyond fed up of being asked to improve over and over again and permanently stop doing this and that just because I'm different and I am a staff member. I neither truly care nor am I curious who misses me or thanks me here anymore, regardless of rank, not because I'm petty, but because I have too many things in my mind to put a priority over, and it's my own safety, my well-being and peace of mind. If I wasn't a staff member anymore and stayed out of people's business here forever, I would've had a much better, simpler experience in the future, '''permanently'''. I am honestly not worried who misses me here as I have plenty of other people and I had gotten enough appreciation here as it is, because I believe in absolute or notable sufficiency. It's impossible here and it just isn't going to get better in a single day or even a year and I am not looking forward of having a trial and error here again and asked what to do and what not to do anymore. While people appreciated my past efforts, even I know I have to discontinue my activities here eventually, and never planned to be here forever. 
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But then I realized that this might happen again in the future, and now I'm beyond fed up of being asked to improve over and over again and permanently stop doing this and that just because I'm different and I am a staff member. I neither truly care nor am I curious who misses me or thanks me here anymore, regardless of rank, not because I'm petty, but because I have too many things in my mind to put a priority over, and it's my own safety, my well-being and peace of mind. If I wasn't a staff member anymore and stayed out of people's business here forever, I would've had a drastically better, simpler experience in the future, '''permanently'''. I am honestly not worried who misses me here as I have plenty of other people and I had gotten enough appreciation here as it is, because I believe in absolute or notable sufficiency. It's impossible here and it just isn't going to get better in a single day or even a year and I am not looking forward of having a trial and error here again and asked what to do and what not to do anymore. While people appreciated my past efforts, even I know I have to discontinue my activities here eventually, and never planned to be here forever. 
   
 
Too many conversations have been overly complex and I just want to find a plain, simple, irreversible, and permanent solution where there's '''no''' second chance of going back to this situation. Neither by accident, nor on purpose. I could willingly and sincerely give up my rights as a staff member and be able to forever relax doing other things, and there is no "or" about it. I just want to be truly happy beyond everything this place can give me, even advice, without a barrage of even the simplest comments here, please. I don't want to go through an endless roller coaster of "Stop doing this, Dekoshu. Stop doing that, Dekoshu." Nothing you say can make me feel better anymore. I rather permanently cut my losses and be left alone, than make another mistake of going off-topic in a thread in a website here again. I'm going to wisely give up and just be grateful for all the great people here that I was ''even'' appreciated in the first place, and should ignore any other comments people sent me attempting to get my attention, just because of my former staff member status, for '''any''' reason, no matter how sincere people's emotions are. This is reality and I am going to take a break that will do more than compensate my absence here. You can't get everything from me and I could have been in serious physical trouble, with no way of telling others about it.
 
Too many conversations have been overly complex and I just want to find a plain, simple, irreversible, and permanent solution where there's '''no''' second chance of going back to this situation. Neither by accident, nor on purpose. I could willingly and sincerely give up my rights as a staff member and be able to forever relax doing other things, and there is no "or" about it. I just want to be truly happy beyond everything this place can give me, even advice, without a barrage of even the simplest comments here, please. I don't want to go through an endless roller coaster of "Stop doing this, Dekoshu. Stop doing that, Dekoshu." Nothing you say can make me feel better anymore. I rather permanently cut my losses and be left alone, than make another mistake of going off-topic in a thread in a website here again. I'm going to wisely give up and just be grateful for all the great people here that I was ''even'' appreciated in the first place, and should ignore any other comments people sent me attempting to get my attention, just because of my former staff member status, for '''any''' reason, no matter how sincere people's emotions are. This is reality and I am going to take a break that will do more than compensate my absence here. You can't get everything from me and I could have been in serious physical trouble, with no way of telling others about it.

Latest revision as of 01:52, June 29, 2016

But then I realized that this might happen again in the future, and now I'm beyond fed up of being asked to improve over and over again and permanently stop doing this and that just because I'm different and I am a staff member. I neither truly care nor am I curious who misses me or thanks me here anymore, regardless of rank, not because I'm petty, but because I have too many things in my mind to put a priority over, and it's my own safety, my well-being and peace of mind. If I wasn't a staff member anymore and stayed out of people's business here forever, I would've had a drastically better, simpler experience in the future, permanently. I am honestly not worried who misses me here as I have plenty of other people and I had gotten enough appreciation here as it is, because I believe in absolute or notable sufficiency. It's impossible here and it just isn't going to get better in a single day or even a year and I am not looking forward of having a trial and error here again and asked what to do and what not to do anymore. While people appreciated my past efforts, even I know I have to discontinue my activities here eventually, and never planned to be here forever. 

Too many conversations have been overly complex and I just want to find a plain, simple, irreversible, and permanent solution where there's no second chance of going back to this situation. Neither by accident, nor on purpose. I could willingly and sincerely give up my rights as a staff member and be able to forever relax doing other things, and there is no "or" about it. I just want to be truly happy beyond everything this place can give me, even advice, without a barrage of even the simplest comments here, please. I don't want to go through an endless roller coaster of "Stop doing this, Dekoshu. Stop doing that, Dekoshu." Nothing you say can make me feel better anymore. I rather permanently cut my losses and be left alone, than make another mistake of going off-topic in a thread in a website here again. I'm going to wisely give up and just be grateful for all the great people here that I was even appreciated in the first place, and should ignore any other comments people sent me attempting to get my attention, just because of my former staff member status, for any reason, no matter how sincere people's emotions are. This is reality and I am going to take a break that will do more than compensate my absence here. You can't get everything from me and I could have been in serious physical trouble, with no way of telling others about it.

I want people to say "You're right, Dekoshu. We'll be short and just say you've done enough here. Somebody else will take over your place and you'll be able to do what you, not us, truly wanted to do all along: To do the right things without constantly being thanked for or harassing you by commenting you of your actions, even for the simplest of reasons, and without tediously being asked to do better next time and you can politely decline them when necessary or wanted to. You're not obligated to do everything. We don't need to miss you, and while you may not be too easy to understand, you're far from generic. You're a human being, not just a tool to be forcefed constant constructive criticism or even advice to. So without any malice, sarcasm, or rudeness, have a great life, Dekoshu."  Who cares about my improved edits, anyway? I don't want to only hear the answers from other people. I want to find the answers myself and choose entirely in my own free will. My life was never purely about being a staff moderator. It was always beyond it, just like everyone else.  I want to focus on bettering myself in an entirely different manner, just cut my losses and move on to something much better where no one here can just call me for any reason and I can be finally free where nobody can make me respond to them here. I don't want to be responsible and threatened of my rank, my stay here, or even my health anymore. Now I'm unsure and just don't feel safe here anymore. I want to hear no more what I should do and just on what I need to do.

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