|“||That is all because in the reality of this human world, it is impossible for every person to be 'happy'. In the shadow of 'happiness' there is 'cruelty'. There is always a balance between the 'positives' and 'negatives'. That's what the Holy 'Corpse' is!! For argument's sake, think of what'd happen were it handed over to some rule-flaunting 'low-life bastard' of the other side of the world. He would only think of using it for things he wants, low-life things. One can only imagine what deplorable events would then be store for the future of this country.... That is one scenario which I must prevent. As president, it is my sworn 'duty'...! In this world to 'guarantee the safety' of the people of my country. That is what it all comes down to!||„|
|~ Funny Valentine|
|~ Valentine's catchphrase|
Funny Valentine is the 23rd President of the United States, an avowed patriot who seeks to make his country supreme above all others. To this end, he organizes the country-wide Steel Ball Run race, with a grand prize of $50,000,000, seeking to use it as a front to collect all nine portions of the Holy Corpse scattered across America.
Powers and Stats
Tier: 10-A physically, 8-C with D4C, Low 7-B environmental destruction with the Holy Corpse | 10-A physically, 8-C with D4C, Unknown with Love Train
Name: Funny Valentine
Age: 48 years old
Classification: Human, Stand User, 23rd President of the United States
Powers and Abilities:
Superhuman Physical Characteristics, Extrasensory Perception (Capable of seeing ghosts and souls among some other supernatural forces that are normally otherwise invisible), Expert Marksman (He's a good shot with his pistol, shooting Axl in the neck and intentionally missing his vitals), Social Influencing (Resourceful at making promises in order to keep situations under his control. Is noted to be charming and held a 91% approval rating as President), Stealth Mastery (When using D4C's abilities), Aura and Summoning (Of his Stand. The latter two powers are only present in the Valentine with D4C, the rest of the powers are shared by all alternative versions of himself)
Superhuman Physical Characteristics, Afterimage Creation (Its attacks can leave numerous afterimages), Flight (Within its effective range), Invisibility (A Stand can only be seen by other Stand users), Non-Corporeal, Non-Physical Interaction (Stands can interact with ghosts and other Stands), Selective Intangibility, Dimensional Travel and Portal Creation (Valentine can use D4C to travel between infinite & "neighbors"/similar dimensions), BFR (Valentine can use D4C to transport others, even just parts of their body and projectiles), Limited Possession and Immortality (Type 6; He can transfer his Stand and his memories to an alternate version of himself if he is lethally injured), Pseudo-Summoning (Using D4C, Valentine can manually bring his alternate selves for help in combat, or other allies, such as Diego Brando from Another Universe), Pseudo-Transmutation (By causing someone to come near an alternate version of themself, both will collapse into Menger Sponges and be completely obliterated; this is not an ability of D4C, but a simple fact of the world, and Valentine himself is immune), Pseudo-Intangibility (Valentine can use his dimensional doors to phase through objects and other beings) and Aura
As before, Clairvoyance, Telepathy, Spatial Manipulation (Warped space) and Resistance to Transmutation, Disease Manipulation & Mind Manipulation with Corpse Parts (The Holy Corpse allows the holders to resist Scary Monsters and similar abilities)
All previous abilities minus the Corpse Parts, Flight (He can fly using Love Train), Probability Manipulation (Love Train directs attacks/misfortune elsewhere in the Earth, leaving only good fortune behind), Absorption, Annihilation & BFR (Love Train draws in its surroundings and transports them elsewhere as part of its misfortune-deflecting effects, things that are drawn in are annihilated and vanish from the world), Transmutation (Turns things that make contact with Love Train into misfortune itself and sends it elsewhere), Biological Manipulation (Love Train can move injuries to other parts of a target's body to make even scratches lethal strikes) Spatial Manipulation (His ability works by entering a flat gap in space created by the union of the Corpse Parts), Body Control (Can flatten himself against the ground and move through Love Train), Fusionism (Love Train can draw objects into others and fuse them), Valentine took a Cream Starter from an alternate Hot Pants, which has Biological Manipulation and can be used to spray flesh as a projectile and use it in a number of ways) on top of Healing
Attack Potency: Athlete level physically, Building level+ with D4C (Fought evenly against Diego Brando, who can harm it), can ignore conventional durability by paradoxing things with their alternate selves, Small City level Environmental Destruction with the Holy Corpse (Generated a massive storm that covered Kansas City) | Athlete level physically, Building level+ with D4C, Unknown with Love Train, can ignore conventional durability with Love Train's abilities
Speed: Superhuman with Massively FTL reactions (Reacted to Johnny's bullets and Diego's attacks), Massively FTL with D4C (Fought against Diego and fused with Love Train as Tusk ACT4 was traveling towards it) | Superhuman with Massively FTL reactions, Massively FTL with D4C, Massively FTL with Love Train
Lifting Strength: Unknown
Striking Strength: Athlete Class, Building Class+ with D4C | Athlete Class, Building Class+ with D4C
Durability: Building level+ physically (Can take attacks from Gyro and Diego), Building level+ with D4C (Survived taking a beating from Tusk ACT4, which can harm THE WORLD, which should be comparable to DIO'S The World), Immortality Type 6 makes him difficult to kill | Building level+ physically, Building level+ with D4C, Unknown with Love Train, Immortality Type 6 & BFR make him difficult to kill (Love Train's effects make it very difficult to harm or hit him at all, as it simply sends all attacks elsewhere)
Stamina: High, capable of briefly surviving fatal injuries such as having his hands nearly cut off, his throat slit and even being gutted and split down the middle.
Range: Standard melee range, Tens of meters with his revolver. Several meters with D4C, Multiversal+ with D4C's dimensional travel | As before. Tens of meters with Love Train (Can get this far away from Lucy while having Love Train, losing it if they separate too much), Planetary with Love Train's dimensional walls (It deflects all misfortune to elsewhere on the planet)
Standard Equipment: His Stand (D4C), his father's handkerchief, a revolver, and some of the Holy Corpse parts | His previous equipment minus the Holy Corpse parts, in addition to Love Train, Lucy Steel (She's around a dozen meters away from Valentine unwillingly granting him his new powers, which will be eventually unneeded), and a Cream Starter.
Intelligence: Valentine is a cunning strategist and opponent willing to do anything it takes to win, cleverly making use of his Stand's abilities to evade death and overcome his foes. He is a careful and observant man who constantly works towards his goals and to grasp his own capabilities. This cautious nature allowed him to grasp that the Spin posed a threat to him, and to see through Diego's disguise.
Weaknesses: Valentine must be between two objects to use D4C's ability to travel between worlds, and any damage D4C takes will be reflected onto his own body. Funny Valentine can not move 1890's American currency between dimensions, although this is later contradicted. | Valentine must maintain a certain distance from Lucy to use Love Train, and must move alongside Lucy if she changes location. To attack others and change the location of their injuries, D4C must leave the safety of the dimensional wall, becoming briefly vulnerable.
- Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap: Valentine's Stand, known as D4C for short. It is a blue-and-pink close-range Stand with large, bunny-like ears. As a close-range Stand, it attacks at short ranges with punches, but its primary ability is to allow multiple parallel universes to exist in the same place at once, with its own universe acting as the "root" universe. As a result, this universe is the only one with Corpse Parts.
- Dimension Hopping: So long as Valentine and D4C are between two objects, they can travel between parallel universes. Any objects, such as flags, the ground, doors, water of any amount, and steam can be used for this purpose, and so long as a part of Valentine is between them his ability can be used, bringing his entire body along. Valentine can bring other objects and people between universes, and when he returns, he can appear from anywhere, such as from someone's back.
- Paradoxing: When Valentine brings an individual to another parallel world, if they meet their alternate self from that world, both will begin to crumble into Menger Sponges, being drawn closer and closer together until they are both completely obliterated. Thanks to D4C, Valentine himself and all of his alternate selves are immune to this, allowing him to make use of them in combat situations. Any character who would be capable of safely interacting with an alternate version of themselves would be immune to this ability as well, of course.
- User Transfer: If Valentine takes severe injuries, he can use D4C to travel to another dimension and transfer his Stand and memories to one of his alternate selves. This Valentine will become the new root Valentine and will inherit the original's motivations and mission. As Valentine has access to infinite universes, this makes him nearly unkillable, as he will always have a backup body in case things go south.
- D4C -Love Train-: An evolved form of Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap granted to Valentine by Lucy Steel's Stand, Ticket to Ride. This ability renders Valentine nearly invincible as he is followed everywhere he goes by a shimmering wall of light, which he can use to glide across the ground as if here were flat and walk in midair, avoiding obstacles in the process. Because it is dependent on Lucy Steel's Stand, Valentine must maintain a certain distance from her to make use of it, and if she moves, he must move as well.
- Misfortune Redirection: Valentine's wall of light redirects all misfortune that gets in Valentine's way, leaving only good fortune, deflecting it across the world for someone else to suffer the consequences. This protects him from attacks, making him essentially invincible so long as he stays in the wall. He can use this ability offensively by having D4C briefly exit the gap, using it to move a target's injuries to elsewhere on this body. In this way, a scratch on the hand can become a lethal blow to the heart, but using this leaves D4C briefly vulnerable.
Key: Base | D4C -Love Train-